The Innovated Espada Meetings
by Jedi-Espada
Summary: Aizen-sama decides to upgrade the Espada meetings by replacing them with IM Chat conversations. UH-OH. Warning: extremely OOC Aizen, Espada Chatroom randomness, and insanity ahead.


**WARNING: LOTS OF RANDOMNESS AND AN EXTREMELY OOC AIZEN AHEAD!**

All of the Espada absolutely _hated _Aizen's horrific weekly Espada Meetings, so therefore, they were extremely happy when Aizen announced that this week's meeting would be the last.

There were NOT happy, however, when he exclaimed with much enthusiasm, "So, instead of having Espada Meetings, we've decided to have an "Espada Chat Room" where we will carry out our meetings instead! Gin and I have even gone to the liberty of purchasing new Macs for you guys!"

All of the Espada groaned in exasperation, partially because the meetings would still take place, and partially because _everyone _in Las Noches knew that Macs were suckish computers.

* * *

><p><em>*one week later*<em>

_(xXAiZeN-SaMaXx has entered the chat room)_

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: h3y 3v3ry0n3! 1m li3k s0 3xc1t3d 4b0ut 0ur f1rst m33t1ing!

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: h3llo?

_(xXAiZeN-SaMaXx has left the chat room)_

* * *

><p><em>*twenty minutes later*<em>

_(xXAiZeN-SaMaXx has entered the chat room) _

_(Primera#1 has entered the chat room)_

_(Overlord has entered the chat room)_

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: h3y b4rr4g4n 4nd st4rrk!

Primera#1: Y r u talking like that? I can't understand what ur saying.

Overlord: …

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Sorry…I thought everyone talked like that nowadays :(

Primera#1: ^That's better.

Overlord: …

Primera#1: Why does Barragan keep posting "…"? It's freaking me out o.o

Overlord: ...

Primera#1: O_O

_(Overlord has left the chat room)_

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Hey! He can't leave, we're in a meeting!

Primera#1: But there were only three of us…

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: h4ng 0n 4 s3c.

Primera#1: You're doing it again, Aizen-sama...

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: 1ll b3 b4ck, k? d0nt l34v3 y3t.

Primera#1: What?

_(xXAiZeN-SaMaXx has left the chat room)_

Primera#1: Screw this, I'm leaving.

_(Primera#1 has left the chat room)_

* * *

><p><em>*five minutes later*<em>

_(__xXAiZeN-SaMaXx has entered the chat room)_

_(Primera#1 has entered the chat room) _

_(Overlord has entered the chat room) _

_(Tiburon-Queen has entered the chat room)_

_(Ulquiorra. has entered the chat room)_

_(UR-ALL-PANSIES has entered the chat room)_

_(iPWNu has entered the chat room)_

_(I3Aizensama has entered the chat room)_

_(BetterthanYOU888 has entered the chat room)_

_(Tee-heeTentacles! Has entered the chat room)_

_(YAMMFER has entered the chat room)_

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Yay, everyone's here!

Overlord: …

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Let's get down to business!

Overlord: …

iPWNu: ^WTF is up with him?

Primera#1: Seriously, what r u DOING?

Overlord: If you filthy pieces of dirt would stop interrupting me, you would find out. I'm trying to do something.

Primera#1: …okay…

Overlord: .

Overlord: ..

Overlord: ...

Overlord: ...

Overlord: ...

iPWNu: Again, WTF?

Primera#1: I don't get it.

Overlord: It's your ashes.

Primera#1: That's insulting.

Overlord: Not just Starrk's. All of yours.

UR-ALL-PANSIES: IMMA KILL U YOU ANCIENT OLD PIECE OF CRAP

Overlord: Ha. Ha.

UR-ALL-PANSIES: IMMA CUT UR HEAD OFF WITH MY WICKED SWORDS AND HANG IT ON AIZEN'S FIREPLACE U MOFO

iPWNu: AW YEAH.

Ulquiorra: Trash.

Overlord: HA. HA.

Tiburon-Queen: Can you guys please stop being so immature?

BetterthanYOU888: I think it's just in their nature.

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Hey, everyone listen up!

I3Aizensama: EVERYONE LISTEN TO AIZEN SAMA!

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Thank u :) Ok guys, we're in a meeting now, so let's get down to business.

Tiburon-Queen: Okay, before we get started, can everyone say who they are? This is getting confusing. I'm Harribel.

Primera#1: Starrk.

Overlord: His Majesty, the rightful lord of Hueco Mundo, Barragan Luisenbarn.

iPWNu: Yeah, yeah, shut it, grandpa. I'm Grimmjow.

UR-ALL-PANSIES: UR MOM

BetterthanYOU888: That's Nnoitra. I'm Szayel.

UR-ALL-PANSIES: NO IM NOT

BetterthanYOU888: Yes, you are.

UR-ALL-PANSIES: DUDE HOW'D U KNOW?

BetterthanYOU888: It was mostly the frequent use of caps-lock and constant idiocy that gave it away.

UR-ALL-PANSIES: O RLY? U WANNA GO, NERD BOI?

I3Aizensama: Zommari!

YAMMFER: YFARMMYC

Primera#1: …whut?

YAMMFER: IYTSA YFAMMBY6 BUYTTR MYYU FINEGRHS AREQS TOOOOOJ BIRGH FROE THEY KETBORAD.

iPWNu: …WHUT?

Tee-heeTentacles!: It's Yammy. He says his fingers are too big for the keyboard.

iPWNu: Oh wow.

Tee-heeTentacles!: I'm Aaroniero BTW :D

Ulquiorra.: Ulquiorra.

iPWNu: OMG SRSLY? NO WAI.

Ulquiorra.: I sense that you're being sarcastic and not really surprised at all.

iPWNu: No, really! With a name like "Ulquiorra." I never would have guessed that you'd be Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra.: I was unaware of the fact that we were supposed to make up a trashy username such as "iPWNu" instead of just using our real name, and because of this entered "Ulquiorra." as my name.

iPWNu: Cool story, bro…

Ulquiorra.: You have no right to call me 'bro,' sexta.

iPWNu: …tell it again.

Ulquiorra.: Trash.

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Guys, guys! Calm down! We're in a meeting! Meetings are no place for arguments!

BetterthanYOU888: Then why don't we actually _start_ the meeting?

I3Aizensama: OMG! Great idea!

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Thank you, Szayel. We shall now begin the meeting!

Overlord: Oh, joy.

UR-ALL-PANSIES: STFU BARRAGAN, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FAT ASS

BetterthanYOU888: I find Barragan's enthusiasm simply delightful, to be honest.

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Ok, guys, listen up. First order of business: How do you guys think I would look with a mullet?

Primera#1: U woke me up from my nap for THIS?

BetterthanYOU888: Trust me, Aizen darling, Mullets are way to 80's for you.

UR-ALL-PANSIES: MULLETS R GAY

iPWNu: ^This.

Tiburon-Queen: They remind me too much of Billy Ray Cyrus.

Tee-heeTentacles!: I love his music!

iPWNu: …

UR-ALL-PANSIES: …

iPWNu: …

UR-ALL-PANSIES: GTFO.

Tee-heeTentacles!: But…but why?

iPWNu: Cause you're a pansy.

Tee-heeTentacles!: I AM NOT! I HAVE TENTACLES!

iPWNu: ^I lol'd.

Tiburon-Queen: By the way, what's up with your username?

Ulquiorra.: It sounds perverted.

iPWNu: And Ulqui-kun would know plenty about being perverted, wouldn't he?

I3Aizensama: EVERYONE SHUT UP! Aizen-sama, I personally think Mullets are beautiful and would look amazingly sexy on you!

UR-ALL-PANSIES: WOW.

iPWNu: That's not weird at all.

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: Thank you, Zommari :) But I want to hear what Yammy has to say, now.

YAMMFER: ITIH HOBNK GMJYTTELS ARER EXTREMWERO STUPOIID AND FUGLY,U.

Tee-heeTentacles!: I'm not even going to try and interpret that.

YAMMFER: AHGHGHGHDGDFEFERRR! STUUPFIODFG COMEPIYRETTR!

_(YAMMFER has been disconnected from the chat room)_

Tiburon-Queen: What was that noise?

Primera#1: I think it was the sound of Yammy throwing his computer across Las Noches.

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: We need to get a bigger keyboard for that poor man.

_(Ichigo-Kurosaki! has entered the chat room)_

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: …WTF.

iPWNu: KUROSAKIIIII! I WANT A REMATCH D:

Ichigo-Kurosaki!: Hey guys! I'm here to kill you all and take my woman back! Ulquiorra, you're up first!

xXAiZeN-SaMaXx: …GET HIM!

_(xXAiZeN-SaMaXx has left the chat room)_

_(iPWNu has left the chat room) _

_(UR-ALL-PANSIES has left the chat room) _

I3Aizensama: FOR AIZEN SAMA!

_(I3Aizensama has left the chat room)_

Tee-heeTentacles!: That means Rukia must be here, too! Tentacle time!

_(Tee-heeTentacles! Has left the chat room)_

BetterthanYOU888: Oh well. I guess I must go collect the bodies.

_(BetterthanYOU888 has left the chat room) _

_(Overlord has left the chat room)_

_(Primera#1 has left the chat room) _

_(Tiburon-Queen has left the chat room)_

Ichigo-Kurosaki!: Hello, Ulquiorra :D

Ulquiorra.: Hello, Ichimaru.

Ichigo-Kurosaki!: They sure are gullible, aren't they?

Ulquiorra.: Extremely.

Ichigo-Kurosaki!: I'd better go tell Aizen it was a joke before he blows up all of Las Noches looking for Kurosaki ;)

_(Ichigo-Kurosaki! has left the chat room)_

Ulquiorra.: …trash.

_(Ulquiorra. has left the chat room)_

Author's Ramblings

Lol. Sorry for all of Aizen's OOC-ness. I was bored and wanted something to do, okay?

I may or may not write another chapter of this, depending on the feedback. So for now, it's a sort-of one shot XD

I hope you enjoyed it.

Later,

-Potter/Jedi-Espada

P.S.: Cookies to anyone who can tell me what Yammy's saying XD


End file.
